Viewing 15 posts - 151 through 165 (of 172 total)
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  • #9341

    d3uha
    Participant
    #9342

    Ganci
    Participant

    Dođe klinac u ljekarnu i kaze:

    – Dajte mi kutiju Viagre.

    – Ne može, to nije za djecu.

    – Ali to nije za mene, djed me je poslao.

    – A, tako… Pa, dobro, evo ti, i kazi djedu da pije samo jednu tabletu na

    sedam dana. Ide klinac kuci i ponavlja:

    – Jednu na sedam dana, jednu na sedam dana, jednu na sedam dana… Stigne

    kuci i kaže djedu:

    – Evo, donesao sam lijek, teta je rekla da moras piti sedam tableta na

    dan!

    Poslije nekoliko dana dolazi klinac opet u ljekarnu:

    – Otkud ti tako brzo? Jeli djedu bolje?

    – Pa… njemu jeste, ali…

    – Sto ali?

    – Baba je umrla poslije dva dana, mama i sestra su trudne, tata je

    poludio, mene boli guza, a Lesi se ne vraca kuci

    :smt098 :smt005 :smt040

    #9343

    RimtuTiTuki
    Participant
    #9344

    crono
    Participant
    #9345

    Ganci
    Participant

    Jos jedna o njima:

    Šalje Mujo Hasi internet adresu:

    http://www.znamkotizenujebe.co.ja

    #9346

    Ganci
    Participant

    nije jubito ali je video do jaja 😀

    All you can do with a condom

    #9347

    Dakky
    Participant

    http://www.tud.ttu.ee/error.html

    Nije film vec ako ste ikada dozivjelji error 404 radi otvaranja nepostojece stranice, ova stranica vam na slikovit nacin opisuje sta se desava u pozadini

    :smt005

    #9348

    d3uha
    Participant
    #9349

    Ganci
    Participant
    #9350

    Lamb-Lover
    Participant
    #9351

    crono
    Participant

    Evo par uleta!!!

    I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!

    Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!

    I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?

    Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?

    Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?

    I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

    I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

    Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

    You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.

    You know what would look great on you? Me.

    Can I read your T shirt in brail?

    Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

    You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. Jel tako i ti Troky???????

    I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.

    Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!

    Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.

    Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

    The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.

    Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night!

    Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!

    How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?

    I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

    That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

    You know, winning the lottery doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

    If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.

    What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

    If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous.

    All those curves! And me with no brakes!

    Can I even get a fake number?

    You’ll do.

    Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much ass.

    You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!

    Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.

    I would say god bless you but it looks like he already did.

    It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.

    Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

    Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!

    If I followed you home, would you keep me?

    If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

    You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!

    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

    Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?

    #9352

    crono
    Participant
    #9353

    Ganci
    Participant

    Jedna od boljih !!!

    Najnepostenija stvar u životu njegov je kraj. Mislim, život je težak. I oduzme ti dosta vremena. I što dobiješ na kraju? Smrt. To je, kao, neki bonus?!

    Uvjeren sam da je životni ciklus okrenut naopačke. Smrt bi trebala biti na početku. Potom slijedi život u staračkom domu iz kojeg te izbace jer si bio prezdrav. Onda počneš raditi tako što prikupiš mirovinu i već prvi dan na poslu dobiješ zlatni sat. Potom radiš četrdeset godina, dok ne postaneš dovoljno mlad za uživanje u mirovini. Piješ puno alkohola, ideš s tuluma na tulum i polako se pripremaš za srednju školu. Onda slijedi osnovna škola, postaješ klinac, igraš se i nemaš nikakvih odgovornosti u životu. Potom si malo dijete, pa beba, vraćaš se unutra i devet mjeseci lebdiš dok te grije najluksuznije centralno grijanje, kupka, a hrana stiže kroz cjevčicu. I kraj dočekaš jednim fantastičnim orgazmom!!! Amen.

    GEORGE CONSTANZA. .the Legend!

    #9354

    crono
    Participant

    Štef iz Stubice odlucio vidjeti zemlju izlazeceg sunca, te uštedio za put i

    krenuo.

    Kak bu putoval nego vlakom?

    Dojde na stanicu kupiti kartu:

    – “Molim jednu kartu za Tokio.”

    – “Joj, ne znam ti ja to. Evo ti do Zaboka, pa ti buju oni prodali do

    Tokia.”

    U Zaboku:

    – “Prosil bi kartu za Tokio.”

    – “Ne prodajemo Vam mi karte za Africke zemlje. To morate kupiti u

    Zagrebu.”

    – “Nije Afrika nego Azija. Dajte mi onda do Zagreba”

    U Zagrebu:

    – “Molim jednu kartu za Tokio.”

    – “Tokio? Evo vama do Frankfurta, pa tamo pitajte za dalje.”

    Nijemci složili Štefu kompletni aranžman i tako on nakon nekoliko dana

    doputuje u Japan.

    Nakon 7 dana upoznavanja kulture i sakea, Štef odluci da je vrijeme za

    vratiti se.

    Na kolodvoru shvati da je zaboravil tražiti povratnu kartu.

    – “Du ju spik ingliš?”

    – “Yes I do. How can I help you?”

    – ” Ajd lajk tu bay a tiket tu Stubica.”

    – “Sir, I can not sell you a ticket unless you tel me precisely where do

    you want to travel. Is it Gornja Stubica or Donja Stubica?”

    #9355

    Lamb-Lover
    Participant

    TCP/IP – Tri Crna Piva / I Pelinkovac

    DHCP – Dva Hladna Crna Piva

    WINS – Wina Ima, Natoči Svima

    ASP – Ajmo Svi Pit

    SLIP – Sad Litru I Pelinkovac

    PPP – Pijem Pivo Popodne

    DVD – Daj Vodu Drugima

    ISA – Idu Stari Alkosi

    GPS – Gorki Pelinkovac Svima

    GIS – Gorki I Stella

    ODBC – Odnesi Dva Ballantinesa Curama

    DNS – Daj Nam Sol-a

    ARP – Ajmo Radije Piti

    PAP – Prekaljeni Alkoholicari Piju

    ADO – Alkohol Dolazi Odmah

    .NET – Neka Etanol Teče

    IRC – Ipak Rakiju Curama

    PHP – Posalji Hladno Pivo

    HTTP – Hoču Tamno Točeno Pivo

    CGI – Cirkaj Game Ipak

    SCSI – Svi Cugamo Sipaj Isto

    AGP – Alkohol Gospoda Piju

    DDR – Donesi Domaču Rakiju

    MIRC – Ma Ipak Rakiju Curama

    ICQ – Isključivo Rakiju Qpujem

    FTP – Fermentaciju Toplo Preporučujem

    UTP – Uveliko Tekilu Pijem

    DSL – Duplu Sauzu Lemam

    AGP – Ajde Gurni Pivo

    URL – Ujutro Rešeno Lečenje

    FTP – Fermentacija Točenog Piva

    TELNET – Točena Efikasno Litra Noću Eliminira Tegobe

    PERL – Ponesi Evo Rakije Litru

    PING – Pivna Industrija Nikad Gora

    WWW – Votka Vodi Vandalizmu

    3D – 3 Domače

    GPRS – Gulimo Prvo Rakiju Subotom

    WAP – Veoma Alkoholno Piče

    BMP – Biče Mamuran Posle

    CNC – Cele Noči Cugam

    URL – Unicum Radi Lepo

    JS – Jagermajster Sipaj

    HTML – Hladan Tuborg Mamurluk Leči

    USB – Uspi Strejt Burbon

    JPG – Jedno Pivo Gospodjici

    DSL – Daj Svima Lozu

    P2P – Posalji 2 Piva

    CSS – Cugaj Samo Smirnoff

    DOS – Daj Opet Smirnoff

    CPU – Cirkaj Pivo Uvek

    HDD – Hajde Domaču Donesi

    ISDN – Isto Samo Duplo Natoči

    PDF – Pijemo Do Fajronta

    TTF – Toči Tu Finlandiju

    UPS – Udri Po Sljivovici

    UTF8 – Uspi Točenih Fostersa 8

    WIN XP – Votku Isključivo Na EKS Pijem

    ZIP – Zenama Ipak Pivo

    PPD – Pelinkovac Prvo Donesi

    MySQL – Metaxu Jednu Stavi Kocku Leda

    ISDN – Idi Sestro Donesi Nikšičko

    CABLE – Cevčim Absint Bijuči Ludu Esmeraldu (stanje zvano koma)

    T3 – Tuborga Tri

    LOL – Laško Olvejz Laško

    VoIP – Vinjak Odmah Ispij Pijanduro

Viewing 15 posts - 151 through 165 (of 172 total)
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